Who could resist a film about a group of semi naked ladies killing cheating men wearing nothing more than a bra and a needle. If this sounds like your cup of tea then you’re probably not old enough to watch ‘Nurse 3D’.

 

Newly appointed nurse Danni (Katrina Bowden) is mentored by longstanding model Abigail Russell (Paz de la Huerta) but when Abby’s obsession and jealousy over Danni’s lover Steve (Corbin Bleu) becomes too much, she extends their friendship to another level.

 

When Abby clocks off from All Saints Hospital, her other job takes centre stage and in a desperate bid to repair a scarred childhood, she devours the city’s cheating philanderers with the ultimate penalty... Death.

 

On paper there is so much right with ‘Nurse 3D’ that it should be an instant classic but when you open up the body and give it a full check up, the illness inside is near fatal. Scantily clad nurses, mutilating men in 3D may be ideal for any 14 year old teen but for those suitable to watch this past the 18 rated certificate will simply find the on screen nudity and slaughter an excuse for a randy director to make a quick buck, too tame to be shocking and too much to be entertaining.

 

Paz de la Huerta brings a monotone narrative that matches the one dimensional psychopath that has nothing to like against Bowden’s innocence as Danni sharing complete polar opposites and little chemistry to keep this compelling.Behind its high gloss presentation and stylish attempts to make a meaningful story, ‘Nurse’ just falls flat of providing anything more than senseless violence and in comparison to a foray of other films, even that can’t be classed as outstanding. A severed arm, a rather uncomfortable hospital slaughter scene and a number of injections are tame if you compare it to anything of a similar vein, ‘I Spit on Your Grave’ and ‘Teeth’ show female fronted murder with shallow storylines but add something to it such as emotion or at least something memorable. It’s as if Aarniokoski has tried to marry ‘American Mary’ with Jason Vorhees and missing both the sophistication or characterization of Mary or the entertainment and thrills of Vorhees.

 

Somehow this should be a blast but manages to be too straight to even have a glimpse of enjoyability about it. Paz de la Heurta holds Russell with a sense of arrogance but never really shows anything more than a ruthless psychopath with no morales and while the last 20 minutes an injection to what should have been, it’s not enough to save the film.

 

To which it’s a shame that when Bowden and Bleu add a little drama to the mix that it all just feels as shallow as Nurse Abigail. If it’s a high body count of mass senseless slaughter you’re looking for then ‘Nurse 3D’ ticks all the boxes but if you want a plot, good characterisation or a new grindhouse ball of fun, then this is not the film for you yet despite its shortcomings, 'Nurse 3D' is a blast of entertainment that makes for some brutal and senseless viewing.